depression after losing custody of child. The powerful gang known as CPS will not stop until we stand up to them but we cant because dumb idiots who dont have kids but go to school and learn about kids think they know how and what parents should do even if they dont know what its like. I have NEVER seen nor heard of anything so terrible done to a child in custody of DSS by a foster worker. I pray to God but it seems whatever I try, its not working. Much love!!! I later found my older son- age 28- on his knees in my room screaming and crying also. Call me at eight 1 six 6 four 5 four 1 five 2. Learn Acceptance. 4. My heart is beyond broken. The best course of action for a parent is to present him or herself as a cooperative and reasonable adult who is trying his or her best to work with the other parent, to maintain an open line of communication regarding the children, and to maintain an air of cooperation when it comes to making decisions about the children's well-being. i want to be clean and be able to get them proper housing when court says im ready. Sometimes I have to get angry about what happened & let off a little steam in a healthy way so I can get myself out of that depressive state. You may be more prone to viral infections, such as colds. [My CPS case was about domestic violence I was battered by my babys father.] i live in Calif. Where do you live? This is rare. And I leave till the friday of next week. We have to ADJUST. Decreased energy, fatigue, or being "slowed down". Believe in yourself, Alisha, and your talents and creativity these will get you through the pain. To combat grief various forums and books for parents who have lost a child have been created. It is hard for me to do this. I sent one out this morning. I missed ten years with my two oldest daughters during their childhoods. about a week after I bought a cell phone and called my mother to see how the children were doing, and was told that cps had picked them up, and my daughter had been released from the psychiatric hospital. Walmart has it. It felt like I was being a weak ass bitch. They said I couldnt take guardianship because my husband has had cancer and I care for a mentally handicapped man and many other petty reasons I have strong income and job security. Always a hole in my heart. Depression After the Death of a Loved One Losing a Child Increases Risk of Mental Illness. Thats the past, and now Im happy and through the trauma. You may feel guilt and shame over your addiction. RIP 2014. Is there anything I can do to avoid getting my son taken away? When I seen them again a worker just laughed about it. I had faith before my kids were taken. Dont give into the lies and dont settle for dog vomit they just handed you. Love is the most powerful force on earth, and the love between a bereaved parent and his/her child is a lifeforce to behold. The other grandparents who changed their minds never gave a good excuse as to why they decided to give him up but I had kept a close loving relationship with him as did my oldest son. I just want to say good bye to my little ray of sunshine and they wont let me. I cant afford a attorney . People want to help but do not know how. Depression drains your energy. Mothers who have lost the custody of their children are also seen to have a higher risk of anxiety and depression, and substance use. What Types of Construction Insurance Do You Need. She is struggling with severe clinical depression and suicidal thoughts and has written an article describing how she feels. My message to the broken-hearted. We have to have something to hold on to. Learn how your comment data is processed. There is no justice, no winning with these communist family destroyers, no matter what you do or how good your record is. I just cant get over this. Most cases resolve much faster. Gods going to fight for all good parents who have had there hearts ripped out by all of the many rotten cps agents! I think that was abusive!!! I have been strong. Our family law attorneys have helped hundreds of families get through difficult times. Im paying the price now. While our law firm helps people navigate the legal issues in family situations, we help our clients focus on whole health, including legal, financial and emotional well-being. Many of us have little or no money; those who have money, spend it all trying to fight their own battles before realizing that this is a world-wide epidemic. (vitamin section) It works for me really well. Your children are going to grow up and have their own kids one day. ive allowed depression to take over but i know i have to push forward and face whats ahead. In fact the stress and grief of the separation and loss of custody is related to an increased risk of alcohol abuse. Have episodes of aggression or self-harm. We need to defund them and change laws. There are many issues surrounding divorce and separation that can impact you and your child to great extents. Grieving this loss is an individualized process that can be captured in poetry about losing a child. I dont even get a second chance to be a mommy. I cant live. It is unusual for a case to be ongoing this long these days. Who is with me? I will always be love her. Let them know that whatever they say is okay. Whether youve been diagnosed, are undergoing treatment, or youre simply struggling with symptoms, there are implications for your life personally and professionally. I suffer from anxiety now that I never had once before. designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. I lost both of my children in 2012 I was the only care taker of them my daughters dad was a sperm donor and was behind 12 grand in child support and my sons dad I jus left him of 5 years off and on hes an alcoholic bad and still ismy case is still Goin on 3 years later and I still havent even got unsupervised visitswhat happened in my case was my current boyfriend which is now my fiance accidentally smacked my son on his cheek nothin serious at allbecause of his criminal past and I guess me still being with this man for over 5 years as well they wont give me my kids backIve had numerous panic attacks Im depressed all day long I cant survive any longer fighting and fighting to get no wherethey have told me from get go do this do that same as ur bf..do all these classes and u will get them backwell we did all that n first year and Ive hired a paid lawyer and all 1500$ to still be strung along over an accident he didnt try to hurt my baby he didnt know how to be a dad he had no idea how to punish a 3 year old at the timeHe only wanted to tap him on the shoulder but my son ducked it and his hand ended up across his faceHe did 60 days in jail for assult as wellThis man loves my kids he refuses to leave he is fighting this long hard battle with me but now its like do I kick him out wat do I doI grew up as a kid and my dad would leave bloody welts all over my bottom thighs etcwhere was cps when I was a childI dont understand this world u got herion addicts who still have there kids ppl leaving kids n hot cars they keep there kidsbut my bf tried to discipline my son and this is wat I go thru day to day for 3 yearscan I get any answers please I live m cincy ohioI need prayers please I need my babies back badmy daughter will be a 12 in Jan I heard she can say at that age where she wants to liveTrue or not??? Support your child in their thought time: Support your children through their struggles, too (if they're old enough). I just got a car and am now working. I used my depression to my advantage by turning it into anger. and demonic forces of evil already have you on their side as well. Jesus said, My kingdom is not of this world. Jesus let evil have its way with him so that he could arise victorious three days later. -Christine in Reno, Nv So did the guilt. I know that in time I will be able to reconnect with my kids. So youre in Modesto and hes in Pittsburg CA (near Antioch)? If you have concerns or doubts about your abilities, you may need to reconsider getting child custody. God Bless You! That was long ago (dark ages I guess) in the early 1980s. !..I did not..now my daughter will never know me or her brothers and sister !!!!!!!!! Usually they come around when they see that nobody else in the world can replace the unconditional love they were getting from their mom. Could you give me some advice, anything helps? Remember the story of Joseph in the Bible who got sold into slavery? Mothers and fathers may cling to each other more closely, give each other space to grieve . Depression can run in families. Only contact was when my 12 year old randomly calls me two times begging to come home. I was his mom. Accept what has happened-I dont mean to agree with what has happened-just accept that it did happen. Cps keeps adding layers of trauma to everyone. Life will bring us good and bad. I hope to see you on the other side of this disaster a stronger person doing something for the good of humankind. Do you have a lawyer who can help you regain custody of your children? THIS IS WISE CO.TEXAS. You can trust a lawyer to advocate on your behalf and seek the best possible outcome. Your hurting because like me you care. 2.) its been a nightmare and Ive been living in hell cuz of cps they was only suppose to be gone 6 months and its been 2 yrs of fighting for my kids every time I turned around it was something. You could even ask for joint custody. My grieving is over. Idk what to do Ive everything I could. The reason that depression may be an issue in a child custody case is that it may have a bearing on the child's best interests. I am on here to find some way to fight this, get info on how to fight, and do it. I am 23 have been a single mom since my oldest my 5 yr old daughter was born. Its been a little over a year now. Words of wisdom from a grandmothers broken and healing heart! One 2015 study of 2,512 bereaved adults (many of whom were mourning the loss of a child) found little or no evidence of depression in 68 percent of those surveyed shortly after the tragedy. I buried myself in researching the laws, in sifting through paperwork, in preparing for my court case. Molly B. Kenny's Bellevue family law office is conveniently located in Bellevue just off I-90, making it easily accessible to those in the greater Seattle area. What is so important from our negative experiences is that we LEARN from them. The effects of grief after the loss of a mother are different for everyone . its harder then i thought. I started a charm bracelet for my daughter & a tool collection & remote control items for my son. Well they still took her & my son. She called back and said she would take him to the Dr. and I needed to pack his favorite things as she was going to get him in an hour and after the Dr. visithe would go into his permanent foster/adoption home. Hi. I hope this helps each and every one of you! The worker told my mother that she had to bring my son to her in L.A. County. She was 3 1/2 years old, yesterday she turned 6, and I havent seen her in over a year. .. so here i stand barely alive, barely breathing broken hearted all beat up bruised scared bitter old tired and may i mention so dangerously misunderstood. My heart doesnt break into any more. It all started because a school lost my autistic daughter for hours and I called police against schools wishes. In fact the stress and grief of the separation and loss of custody is related to an increased risk of alcohol abuse. Write! I had a bad alcohol and heroin problem. My daughter has been sentenced to life with my ex and his child molesting roommate to be around their drug use and other abuse, while Im barred from seeing or talking to my own child for no reason. Get comfortable with silence. I questioned it and all i was told is he has a picking problem at 2 years old??? Loss of a Child Poems. Pls go to my website and click on SIGN THE PETITION. I trust God to take care of them wherever they are. Wednesday, March 28, 2012 Losing Custody Of Child Poem, My Lost Love, My Lost Child Show our kids our love for them by staying well having faith and putting forth the action. How to cope with the death of a child? I have been in and out of hospitals for suicidal ideation. I was told to just do what is asked of me by working and completing the services asked of me. The shoe doesnt feel so well on the other foot. I do go to mental health but no matter what they do it does not work ive tried to concentrate my depression into bettering myself still nothing ive tried to do many many things and nothing helps so i always keep going back to marijuana and drinkin. My own mother said i could never ever see my son again. I am at fault for my situation. This twenty year old guy. Amber, Im so depressed lost and confused at how CPS did things and just how much they get away withMy family and I was violated and our constitutional rights tossed in the garbage and there was nothing I could doI really need help in this battle..My kids are being harmed in the worse way possible emotionally and minimally by being taken from the only ones they know only by an allegation.never knew cussing could be domestic violence. I need a group to fight this battle! The Commissioner suddenly retired, and I am told quite a few other people are gone. I have given up and have been on the streets homeless. They wouldnt let me leave and knew I would fail their expectations which I did and last month they took my two children from me. I dont know what else to do. Finish college, and be part of the solution to bring this madness to an end. Maybe start an exercise routine. Losing your faith is no justification for any suffering or struggles in life. There are a couple of books I just ordered-one is called Your Past has Passed, and the other is called Getting Past Your Past. Now, I dont even know why I believed in anything. I contacted an attorney that supposedly fights dcfs cases and his response was go and leave your daughter at a Dcfs location so they wont charge you. Read this site and others like it and prepare for court with documentary evidence and legal documents. Cps doesnt respond to me at all and my given attorney even defends him. The key is proving that your depression will not have an adverse effect on your ability to act as a parent. We must become unified and change laws, start class action suits against states and DHHS in each state. I lost my children three girls in 2011. These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. Now the parent is expected to not only survive the guilt felt from imagining what their own actions have caused their child to go thru but to somehow quit drugs while feeling the greatest amount of pain one can feel (next to a childs death). None of the information on this website is intended to be legal advice. And dont stop living. I was two days into my treatment. When losing an adult child, the grief can be compounded by guilt, by the loss of a friend, by the contemplation of our own mortality, and by the reality that the end of life is perceived as progressively less tragic the older a person gets. You might not be able to sleep, eat, or think straight. I was lying in bed sobbing because my son will be turning 4 in just a couple of weeks. This is my third time involved with dcs. But, give them a feeling that you are always with them mentally. There's no right or wrong amount of time to grieve the passing of your mother. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Fill out the form below with any case details you can include and we'll be in touch shortly for a case review. I agree that the best source of help is God and Jesus heals broken hearts. So have nothing and there will be no grieving. I knew of many of these situations before, and thought I had a good enough support system to protect us. When we had gotten there the place was a mess so i proceeded to help her clean it. CPS also made my husband divorce me! The cps took my samantha 23 years ago and I suffer in silence and continually ask God why. It has now been 2 years and I was appointed a respite care giver to the other grandparents who were going to take guardianship. Im ever closer to the end. A retrospective study done on maternal mental health after the loss of custody has found that Losing custody of a child to child protection services is associated with significantly worse maternal mental health than experiencing the death of a child. If they terminate our rights, then I am going to fight the system that much harder. I am so sorry I am sad to know someone like me has experienced similar pain because I feel very alone. Call me at 816-645-4152. This is someone with extensive knowledge of the. CPS took my whole life. If you will notice it is very rare for a CPS (by whatever name) to go after the rich and powerful. She brought another worker with her to get our grandson who was nice but we were hysterical. I lost my children 16 years ago. I am just so tired of everything. I am focusing on hearing my Father tell my children, Well done, thou good and faithful servant. Nothing else will matter because we will never be separated again. teach them about laws in your state and help them fight with you. If not. They were then 3years and 2years old. Job not only lost his kids, he lost everything he owned and his health; even his wife turned against him. I have 100% guaranteed childcare just feet away 24/7.. I was to return to my home state of Missouri where I have many loved ones..employment and a home set up..this was the plan before they even stepped foot into my life. Whether a child, parent, spouse, or furry companion, poetry has the uncanny ability to take one back to the momentback to the place a heart needs to feel. My daughter was put in a psychiatric hospital, and she was going to take my daughter to my mother. I am a very devout Christian but I sometimes wonder why God had allowed this curse to come upon me and my children! Lord knows I need a support system and Lord knows Im willing to support others going through this nightmare. I can tell you that our Case Manager was fired. Ive done everything the courts have asked but it still isnt enough. I wanted to die so bad I put my gun in my mouth, when I did it just didnt feel right. The 12 year old used her friends phone on the bus and called me begging for me to come see her. You can also take effort to build positive relationships amongst friends and family at the same time, if it is possible- keeping an open channel between you and the other parent can also be helpful. Those of us who suffer much will benefit in the end. Emotional Aspects of Grief. They were good young boys they didnt deserve what th ey got. They took her because of a rush to judgment. Also, the psychologist will write out some useful recommendations picked up individually for each patient. oh god do i ever miss them I swear being beaten alive feels better. Do NOT use marijuana!! My children were my life. My daughters are now with a cousin of mine, and I turned in my son with my mom after borrowing a car to take him to san bernardino county. Forgetting I was an alcoholic. My parental rights are still attached, but all custody have been relinquished to kinship.if my daughter needs an in house hospital visit I am not allowed to be present without court authorization. God. I have forgiven but I need to forget. Please also know that this too shall pass, one day our children will be all grown and cps cant touch them! She monitors everything i say. For an emailed notificationof new articles,enter your email address here: Copyright 2023 Linda Jo Martin, site owner, By continuing to use the site, you agree to the use of cookies. If you have any concerns, regarding the custody issues and need more information or clarity its best to seek advice and support from a legal professional. God is Good. So, it is common and expected if you begin to face various mental health issues after you lose custody of your child. Never been on drugs and theyre trying to use the ONE TIME that I drank against me! If you do you can be charged with molestation. Think of the positive things you can do with your life now-help others, volunteer, find a Belief System, get a good job that you love, find love (if you havent already), join a support group, join a church, adopt a pet, etc. And I mean everything but the clothes on my back. As a matter of fact was pretty messed up when i had to give her my daughter but anyways. It is his will what will be done. If I get my kids back, my first priority will be to secure their safety, but once that is achieved, I will be back on the front lines. God would never take someones children away especially when they are loved and cared for. My Life is Over:My Feelings of Despair After My Son's Suicide. They dont like me and wont return my calls. A stable home, happy and loving. I, too gave up a little girl for adoption. Iv tried everything. Write a letter to your lost child. I had a drug problem but i was never a violent or abusive person or parent. Kruk, E. (2008). She will always be within me to keep going. The county it happened in is a joke. You can do this. He loves his daddy but will not let me hold him. Im doing what I can to help the greatest number of people at one time. Im so sorry. I am forever wounded. If you find y I just loved my family too much. Take your troubles to Him by making time for prayer whenever youre feeling overwhelmed. Any advice? Your experience of losing the custody of your child is the same as any other kind of loss you might experience. i was honest of my relapse and just from telling the social worker that i was an at home mom who relapsed and seeking help?she called cps?went to my house where my ex was caring for them till i got out?my two oldest children not his blood. Ive been complying with dcs. Get enough sleep. They took my baby and I had a stroke. A Poem About Losing Custody. However, violent behaviors, self-injury, or suicide attempts can present a danger to your child, and simply being unable to provide basic childcare due to loss of ordinary function can impact custody decisions. The only reason I am still alive is because my daughter is never going to have to tell people that she got adopted because her mom was a heroin addict. Mandi, this site was started because I went through something like what you went through. Molly is a woman of few, but very strong words. I had no money to go to the court in L.A. and did not go to the court hearing. Where do you live? Did your son get adopted out? My foster care worker is supposse to help me and said she would and hasnt much helped me with anything. Seeking out parenting classes that specifically have to do with divorce and custody arrangements can be something for you to try out. Hello Amanda, Im so sorry youre going through this. Second time is after about a year of dad not seeing my son in the visits he suddenly wants to show up to visits after learning the case was going to be closed and all of a sudden my son says Ive been abusing him this whole time which had been over a year at this point. So I will pray for the fact that you lost your faith because you lost your kids. I have no money or strength left to fight! Symptoms of divorce-related depression can include any, or a combination of, the following: Symptoms of depression can vary from mild to extremely severe. But what I dont understand is that multiple family members had tried to gain custody when I lost them and the cps worker never returned phone calls. our Mombecause she knows how to make us feel better. 5. I am hopeless. Substance abuse is another issue that many parents face after separation and divorce . Some answers to the most frequently asked questions may also be helpful. I called DSS the night before and told them he had a fever of 102.6 and might need to see a Dr. in the middle of the night. Keep doing the next right thing. Divorce Poem Losing Custody Of Child Poem A parent who loses custody of his child lets the child know that they are not forgotten and that he . Whether it is serving food at a charity kitchen, or helping adults learn to read and write in your librarys literacy program theres something you can volunteer to do. Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness. You see what people dont understand its not cps who really taking our kids away. My son was in prison and the mother was in a sober living house out of Hendersonville. Perhaps youre in a state that makes you not the best parent, at least until you get your medical condition under control. My life just didnt go in that direction. We may lose this battle, but the victory is already won. Treasure, my best advice is to go to a church and find Jesus because He can help comfort you and heal your broken heart. In your case, since you had your tubes tied and dont expect to have more children, it would probably be best to go to the hearing to try to defend your right to parent this one child many other parents do sign their rights away to avoid the TPR label (which would affect future children as well.) Of course you feel lost! They moved my kids 2 & a half hours away. These methods will not help to survive the death of a child, but will only worsen the situation. And kiss their foreheads try to persuade them to pray with me. Can determine what's best for you and your family. Recently, you may have read news stories about more and more spouses citing an exs depression in child custody cases. When we had our children with us, they learned from our behavior more than from our words. My heart is breaking so bad. Im now 49 they are 29 and 30. my daughter has shown up with marks as well that were not simply from them being kids. Ill keep you in my prayers. All I can do is get better and look to the future. The fight in a Mom for her babies, is one i wouldnt wish on my worst enemy. Amber, I lost custody 2 years ago and my therapist said my son will come look for me when he grows up. We may have fallen into the trap but we can get out of the trap and learn from the terror weve been through. I would suggest you finding a project you can do for your kids & start collecting things to give to them when they return. I feel pain guilt shame and sorrow deeper than I ever imagined possible. Do it to try to have a good relationship with the adopters, to be able to see your grandchild at least once a year, maybe around Christmas time. My daughters story is not going to be one that allows her to be felt sorry for or that gives her an excuse to not reach her full potential. My granddaughter told me that her foster dad was putting a pillow over her face in her bed I reported this as advised by a child advocacy group to report it to the state police in the foster familys county . Express your grief in creativity. And so is your pain. I know that lost feeling so very well. He is watching over them. No matter what. This will help you gain PERSPECTIVE. Thank you, Shirley I do understand the need to move on. You are grieving. This is battle for our children, and grandchildren. Helped hundreds of families get through difficult times they learned from our behavior more than from behavior. The future are loved and cared for son & # x27 ; s Suicide unusual for a case be. Knows i need a support system to protect us when we had our children will be grown. So, it depression after losing custody of child poem very rare for a case to be clean be. 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